July 9, 2019
Why Bounce When You Can Bounce Forward
You know the old saying “it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters?” They’re talking about failure. Yes, I said it. *Fail* can feel like a dirty word, but we’ve all had moments in our careers where we’ve experienced it. It can show up in the little things like not completing your to-do list. And it can show up in the big things like not landing that promotion. After experiencing many a failure in my career, some that left me kicking myself and some that left me reeling, I’ve learned to focus more on the lesson from the experience. I like to call this bouncing forward. It’s my strategy for coping with failure, and a way to ensure that I’m learning and growing from the experience. Here’s three ways you can learn how to bounce forward.
Embrace the struggle
This has been one of the hardest lessons for me. I like to get stuck in the emotions of it all, and get stuck in my head. Yep, I’m that girl who looks like everything is copacetic on the outside, while inside my emotions are tearing me to shreds. You may choose to ignore your feelings, like me, or you may choose to wear them on your sleeve—whatever you do, give yourself the space and time to feel all the feelings. You can be disappointed. You can be angry. You can be sad. You *can.* And then, when you’re good and ready, move on.
Be your own best friend
For starters, stop beating yourself up. Yes, you failed (there is that scary word again). But stop the smack talking. Would you treat your best friend that way if she failed? You know the answer here. Sure you could have done something differently, but you didn’t. Negative self-talk won’t do anything for you, so just *don’t* do it. Instead, be kind to yourself. Start with your self-talk. Empathize with yourself. Be your own cheerleader. You deserve to be spoken to nicely, and that includes how you speak to yourself.
Meditate, journal, go to therapy, sweat it out—whatever you do, do you
Life is about resilience. And failing is an opportunity to build that muscle. Not only will it carry you through the failure at hand, but all future ones, too. So do whatever you need to do, get Reiki, paint your nails, have a good cry, or eat a pint of ice cream—do it. Because you know what? These are the tools in your resilience toolbox. And the more resilient you are, the more able you are to cope with failure. So take some time to find out what works for you. And do it. Often. As often as necessary to feel better.
Sarah Wannemacher is ACPR’s Business Development Manager and a hardcore lipstick junkie. Urban Decay, we’re looking at you. While she has more than she can count (many at the bottom of her handbag), she’s on a lifelong quest for the perfect red.